Get me one!

I recently pulled all the muscles in my lower back because my wallet was so full. I hope none of you ever have to go through this painful experience. Having so much cold hard cash in my back pocket can really be a bummer. So I really need someone to get me the SLIM CLIP. In the commercial there is a guy who takes out his wallet and it is so full of cash that it flew out all over the place. If your biggest problem is that you have cash raining all around you because you have so much of it then life must be just awful. Then there is a lady who dumps out her purse all over the counter to find things. Several people have bulky wallets that are full to the brim. What these people need is not a Slim Clip, but a seminar on organization. A new trend in selling you things lately is showing that it can stand the blender test. Why do we need to see that everything we buy can't be destroyed by a blender? Has anyone ever had something that they bought, besides food, destroyed by a blender? I can't remember the last time I bought computer speakers and then came home to find my wife obliterating them in the blender, with her saying, " sorry honey, I guess you should have bought better speakers." So if I put my leather wallet in a blender and it got shredded does that mean that it's not worthy to hold my money? However I read a story about a young man who had the Slim Clip and he fell into a giant turbine while at work. His body was shredded to bits but the foreman was luckily able to determine who it was because his id was protected by the Slim Clip. But my favorite part of the commercial is when the guy puts cash in his slim clip and then shakes it with his fingers holding the back of it trying to make it look like the money can't fall out. Also they give you a free key chain flashlight. There is a guy at a restaurant using it to see his menu. Not that this is the funniest thing ever, but It just gets me every time I think about using a flashlight to look at my menu at a restaurant. I think I am going to start do this every time at a restaurant whether it's dark or not.